The Sexuality Snare, Stabilizing Hormones and the Head

As I had my early morning coffee, the "Dear Abby" column caught my eye. A reader wrote in with a dating problem and ended her letter with that often-heard stereotype that "Women utilize sex to get love, and guys use love to get sex." This is a terrific summation of the "Sex Trap."

The Sex Trap is comparable to the Love Trap, where singles interpret good sex as love. Those who fall into the Sex Trap go even further since for these songs, having sex carries enormous meaning and repercussions.

Singles fall into the Sex Trap in one (or both) of two methods:

A.they think sex is a necessary test of compatibility, (if the sex readies then the relationship will be good also).

B.more frequently, all awareness heads out the window, and one or both previously level-headed songs consider themselves a dedicated couple as quickly as they make love.
So, instead of taking a look at whether this other individual may be a match on levels aside from physical attraction-- such as long-lasting requirements, requirements, and desires-- they are blind-sided by the chemistry under the covers.

No doubt, it can be challenging to communicate with reality when all those hormonal agents are cutting loose. Our body reacts to somebody we are brought in to by producing hormones such as PEA or phenylethylamine (natural amphetamine), dopamine and norepinephrine (natural state of mind enhancers), and testosterone ( boosts libido), which makes the chance to make love with someone we are drawn in to very hard go to website to resist. Then, after orgasm, we produce oxytocin (which acts on the hypothalamus to produce feelings), that makes us feel extremely close to and bonded with our sex partner.

These chemical reactions are strong and involuntary , causing powerful feelings of attraction, enjoyment, closeness, love, and wellness .

When problems develop, those who fall into the Sex Trap frequently justify by believing, "Well, we've got issues, but the sex is excellent!" They most likely wouldn't confess, but they focus on physical intimacy and concern the rest as optional. Their main scouting tools are sexual tourist attraction and physical visit this site right here compatibility.

Barry North, an RCI coach who works primarily with gay men, states that a number of his customers have fallen into the Sex Trap.

" For gay men specifically in cities, sex is easily available, which in itself is a trap," North says. "In addition, the culture, with its emphasis on physical look, Read Full Report motivates sexual activity. Many gay men wish to learn from the beginning if a possible partner is going to be sexually suitable. Why waste your time if the sex isn't really going to ready?".

North adds, "I believe this is a ' man' thing rather than a 'gay' thing.".
I do wish to explain that chemistry is important. Yet, chemistry is a given that we can't manage in a relationship; it is either there or not there, and it must be there for the collaboration to work. If not there, we cannot "make" chemistry take place, though in some cases it can grow over time.

When the hormone-induced intoxication uses off and reality hits, Singles who pursue a relationship based upon sexual chemistry risk relationship failure.

To prevent the Sex Trap, you should stabilize your heart (and hormones) with your head. This means combining chemistry with good sense. While good sex is essential for a sustainable relationship, you have to make your partner choices by paying complete focus on your vision, objectives, requirements, and values -- while feeling all those exciting sparks!

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